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Writer's pictureLynette Allcock

From Disintegration to Transformation: Nicole's Words to Wanderers

"Living in a new place can be incredibly transformative, akin to becoming a butterfly. However, most people forget there is a time when you are in the cocoon and it's dark and you have completely disintegrated."


What does it take to survive and thrive abroad? In this "Words to Wanderers" series, expats and TCKs share their experience and advice. Today, Nicole shares her story.


Please introduce yourself! Who are you, what do you do, and what’s one thing you’re loving in your life right now?


I’m Nicole! I was born in the USA to Jamaican parents…so I am Ja-Merican? I currently live in the ROK (Republic of Korea) working as a professor at a private Christian university.


Tell us about your experience living internationally. Where were you born? Where have you lived? And what brought you to where you are now?


I was born into a military family so moving is my norm. I was born in Florida, moved around New York, and then we moved to Italy! We were able to travel around Europe, then returned to Connecticut where my parents settled down.


My stint in Italy shaped how people perceived the type of person I was, which had an impact on how I saw myself. I realized that I live outside the box of what is “normal”.


To date, I have been to approximately 43 states and 13 countries for work, volunteering, school or a visit. This is my 5th time coming to the ROK, and it wasn’t my plan. I prayed right before the pandemic hit, and YHWH confirmed South Korea. I delayed for about a year, but being where YHWH wanted me was more important than anything else, so here I am.


What’s something you enjoy about your expat life?


Living abroad in general helps me see and experience another way to life. It is helpful to see how ideas are communicated in a culture. One unique area I especially enjoy learning about is how the flavors of food are utilized.


For Korea specifically, I enjoy the easy access to both nature and the city. I can jump on my bike and ride along the riverways to go to the grocery store. I also like the walkability, and how normalized walking is here. I also am fascinated by the history of Korea, so I have been able to visit historic places in the country, from old neighborhoods, to museums.


What’s a hard thing about living abroad? How are you working through that challenge?


I am seen as a foreigner and due to Korea’s homogenous nature, I wonder if I will ever be seen as a person first. It is the same everywhere, but in the USA I can communicate with others. So, to dialogue with others, I wish I had a better grasp of the language.


I had enrolled in the Korean Immigration and Integration Program (KIIP) and have passed level 2. However, this year the online classes filled up so I wasn’t able to enroll. I have volunteered at the library and taken classes, all in Korean. Now I am attending a Korean Bible group and studying the Bible in Korean, so that is a new dimension to my language acquisition.


You’ve been working abroad for several years. What is something different in the work culture here, that you had to get used to? What are your top tips for getting along with colleagues from a different culture?


I noticed in Korean culture that there are short notices and turnarounds which is frustrating. I like being able to give my best, and it takes time to craft something well. But most of the time, I feel that having things done quickly is more important than critical evaluation.


Also, I have noticed that group work and group recognition is really important. There are lots of cultural survival underpinning, so I recommend learning about the Han culture mentality.


How has living abroad/moving around impacted your spiritual journey?


Living abroad has been a challenge because I am always wondering if I have fallen off the path of where Christ is leading me. When you live a not-normal life, it is easy to compare yourself with friends and family who took a more traditional route. So, I feel that it made my spiritual life more acute in how I am letting go and trusting Christ to lead and guide me.


Another impact to faith is seeing how people experience spirituality and religion. I need to take a step back and pray so that I can see how Christ is using the intersection of our lives to be drawn closer to Him.


What is something you’ve learned about yourself through your travels/life abroad?


I try to learn too fast sometimes. I want to spend more time relaxing and reflecting on the world around me instead of feeling pressured to do what I think is the right thing culturally.


It occurred to me that maybe being authentic and flawed (like a diamond not a cubic zirconia) is an opportunity for others to connect and feel safe to be their authentic selves too.


How would you encourage other expats and global nomads? Or, what advice would you give them?


Pray first for direction and timing and patience. Living in a new place can be incredibly transformative, akin to becoming a butterfly. However, most people forget there is a time when you are in the cocoon and it's dark and you have completely disintegrated. Trust Christ to start, maintain and complete the process in your life.


Anything else you’d like to add?


I had the privilege to study my masters in Korea. It provided great insight to understand my Korean friends and how academic life shapes the culture of Korea. Many of my peers come to Korea to work as teachers, but lack the understanding of what it is to be a student in Korea. The academic culture also impacts the work and relationships seen in Korean adult life.


If possible, study in the country you live in. It could be in a fun class, community program, or university. It has helped me have empathy and strengthen community with others.


Thank you, Nicole, for sharing with us!

What stood out to your from her story or advice? Share in the comments below and subscribe above to keep updated with the blog!

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