What if a delay is a blessing?
I've often felt "behind" in life.
I went to college later than my peers, starting my freshman year at 21 instead of the typical 18.
(Granted, that's because I had been living and teaching abroad between 18-20, and then working to save up for overseas tuition fees for American schooling. But in spite of these adventures, when I was in college, I sometimes I still felt weird about being behind other people my age.)
I was in my late 20s when I had my first "real" boyfriend, and I was in my 30s when I got married.
These days, many of my peers are having kids and getting promotions. I, on the other hand, am starting over in a different country -- which includes figuring out what my career options look like now, and being not quite ready for kids.
As a writer and creative, I've often been late to trends, too. I only just got Threads. I didn't get on Substack until well after it had picked up popularity, but to be honest, I'm still not really into it. I even tried TikTok for a few days and felt like it just didn't fit me.
It's easy to look at my life and pick on all the ways I seem behind. Can you relate?
Yesterday, I wended my way to a recently trending location in Korea. It was a luxurious mall with an impressive library, its books lining shelves that spanned four floors (72 feet).
When the library first opened, it had been such a hot spot that hundreds (maybe thousands) of people crowded in to take pictures, and the roads were backed up with traffic for almost a mile.
However, when I went, the trend was pretty much over. It was still busy, but not suffocating.
"It's nice to be late to the trend," I thought as I admired the library and got a few quick shots for Instagram.
It's nice to be late...I pondered that idea as I rode the subway home.
What if being behind isn't always a bad thing? What if you're not really late? What if a delay is a blessing in disguise?
I was late to college...but I had some wonderful travels and life experiences beforehand that I could only experience because I chose an a-typical route.
I was late to dating and marriage...but I was able to form a clearer idea of who I was during the waiting, and I married a good man whom I wouldn't have been ready for earlier (and vice versa).
I may be "behind" in climbing one specific career ladder...but I've had a variety of interesting experiences that have shaped and grown me, and been able to offer my skills in different ways and places. And so much of my writing work has come out of those life experiences.
I think of some biblical characters who also experienced delay.
Joseph, favored-son-turned-slave, waited for years, including time in prison, before he saw his dreams fulfilled (literally). Moses, once a crown prince, had a 40-year "detour" as a shepherd in the desert, which turned out to be a necessary step in fulfilling his destiny. David was promised a kingdom and then spent years on the run before he could step into power.
I can imagine each of these individuals feeling behind at times! I'm sure they questioned their path and perhaps even God's promises. And yet each part of their journey was used...redeemed...reworked for good.
As much as feeling behind can be frustrating, it's also such an intriguing thought to me that God may use a delay or a detour to facilitate a blessing -- to lead to a greater good -- to provide a gift that we may only realise in hindsight.
So if you feel behind today, please don't lose heart! (And if you're a fellow TCK, you may find some comfort in realising that it's not just you; it's quite normal for us to "be behind" in certain ways.)
You never know what good may come of "being late." May you soon be able to look back and see that your unusual path has brought you to pleasant places. And may you enjoy the journey.
(One thing that has helped my on the twists and turns of my journey has been listening to the scripture meditations from the Dwell app. Highly recommend! Check out the app here.)
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