"It’s always too easy to focus on the bad...the grass might appear to be greener on the other side, but in reality, it’s actually greener where it’s watered!"
What does it take to survive and thrive abroad? In this "Words to Wanderers" series, expats and TCKs share their experience and advice. Today, Tiffany shares her story.
Please introduce yourself! Who are you, what do you do, and what’s one thing you’re loving in your life right now?
Hi! My name is Tiffany, and I am a tutor part time at the international Christian school where my husband teaches. I also do some graphic design online, and I am currently preparing to welcome our first baby in November!
I love a lot of things about my life, but probably the top favorite is community connections: weekly walks with friends, monthly tea times, and movie nights with great snacks.
Tell us about your experience living internationally. Where were you born? Where have you lived? And what brought you to where you are now?
I was born and raised in the USA, in a small town in Pennsylvania. As a teen and young adult, I took several mission trips to South and Central America, but I never left the Americas until the day my husband and I moved to where we are now in East Africa.
My husband comes from a mission-minded family and went on trips to visit relatives in various parts of the world, so we both grew up hoping to someday live abroad. In our second year of marriage, we began applying to international schools around the world. After receiving several offers, we chose a school in Kenya, where we have now lived for two years!
What’s something you enjoy about your expat life?
We live on a beautiful 40-acre school campus with 50+ other families, and we love going for evening walks around the campus. Because the weather here is so lovely year-round, families are often outside; there are groups of kids out biking and climbing trees and playing on the playgrounds. While living in close quarters with our community can cause drama and other issues, we love seeing the connections and fellowship that come with living life together with other Christians!
What’s a hard thing about living abroad? How are you working through that challenge?
We struggle to deal with some of the negative aspects of our host culture. While there are many cultural differences that we love about our life abroad, it’s often hard to deal with the negative differences. We can see the beauty of both our home and host cultures, but it’s always too easy to focus on the bad.
I am more likely to compare the negatives of my current culture to the positives of my home culture, which isn’t fair to either culture. I often try to remind myself that the grass might appear to be greener on the other side, but in reality, it’s actually greener where it’s watered! If I can stay focused on bettering my current culture instead of comparing the two, I will be much happier and I can actually help the negatives!
You will be having a baby in your host culture! What are some of your hopes and fears about raising a child abroad? How is God meeting you in those feelings?
We live in a very international community, and I hope that I can use this time to learn much about different parenting styles and how I can best parent my child (I’m under no illusions that I will be a perfect parent). I hope that raising our child in the midst of so many cultures and backgrounds will help prepare him to be a more compassionate and understanding adult.
I’ve had more fears than I expected, mainly about giving birth and caring for a newborn. I fear that I won’t handle labor well, that I will struggle with postpartum depression, that I will never have that “mother’s intuition” about caring for a tiny, completely dependent human, and even that I’ll do something terrible like forget my baby in the car or at the store. Thankfully, I recently read that the last fear I listed is a common nightmare during pregnancy, so I’m blaming it on the hormones!
God has been so faithful through all of the fears and worries I’ve been having. He has placed me in an incredibly supportive community; the women in my community have been amazing already at encouraging me and praying over me. A very special way God has met me recently is by connecting me with a lovely Christian woman in my community who had previously spent time as a doula. She has graciously agreed to sit down with me and share her knowledge, and I am so thankful for that!
How has living abroad/moving around impacted your spiritual journey?
Because I grew up in a fairly homogenous Christian community, it took effort on my parents’ part to expose me and my siblings to the worldwide Christian community. Moving from that community into an international Christian community has been an interesting continuation of my parents’ efforts! I have seen so much more how faith in Jesus connects people and breaks down barriers. I have seen true Christianity at work in both my home and host cultures, and it has strengthened my faith. It has also strengthened my belief that living for Jesus instead of living selfishly is 100% worth the effort!
What is something you’ve learned about yourself through your travels/life abroad?
I have learned that I can adapt to much more than I ever thought possible! Just because I functioned one way in my home culture doesn’t mean that I have to do it that way in my host culture!
A very specific example of this is pace of life; our life in the USA prior to moving abroad was busy. My husband and I worked at two different private schools, so we juggled double the school events on top of family obligations, church events, and time with friends. Rarely did we spend an entire weekend at home. When we first moved to Kenya, the pace of life felt slow and boring. However, it didn’t take long until we began to cherish “Africa time” and the blessing of slower living!
How would you encourage other expats and global nomads? Or, what advice would you give them?
I am a newbie when it comes to being an expat, so I definitely still feel like I’m not very well equipped to be giving advice! I will share a bit of encouragement I’ve received. In conversations I’ve had with other expats, I’ve noticed this: no matter how hard it is, most expats never regret the time and energy they’ve invested in a new community and culture.
Where can we find out more about you? (Optional – feel free to share your IG handle, newsletter, etc.)
You can find me on Instagram - @tiff.tiff.k - where I share everyday life, funny moments, and the occasional serious thought.
Thank you, Tiffany, for sharing with us!
What resonated with you from her story or advice? Let us know in the comments below, and subscribe to the blog for more Words for Wanderers :)
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